What have I done for my fucking life?

I think I’m going through some kind of depression.

my life is broken apart. it seam fine but it is broken. my study i broken,my relationship, my health, everyhting.

i kinda wanna shut down eveything and go somewhere, but at this point there’s too much things to mess around with that i’m no longer be able to hsve the jooy of travelling.

i’m truly stupid. i jusst want people attention but then have no idez whwt to do with it. i’m struggling with eveything.


My skincare routine – Feb 2018

After Tet holiday, and I have to say after using makeup for a while my skin broke out like crazy. Maybe it’s because of I used cheap makeup… or like I have some situations going on with my period (…can blame this one). So I think i’mma need to take good care of my skin or it’s gonna be so fucked up.

My makeup routine is getting back to how it is: Lipstick only. Well sometimes I may use some concealer n eyes shadows on but not very often since i get more n more lazy :)) um, but still, for some important occasion, or like whenever i feel boogie af, i’mma put dem on (still not go ok with foundation since i haven’t found any drugstore foundation that make me feel comfortable with).

Alright alright, so here’s what I use for my skincare:

  1. The Ordinary Salicylic Acid 2% Solution: AM & PM

Salicylic Acid 2% Solution - 30ml

After using Acne.org for awhile and got really good results for a year, I have considered to use like powerful stuff for my acne, cause I didn’t really have a chance to continue order more Acne.org stuffs (1, It’s a bit up price; 2, the way too big bottles last longer and cheaper but I don’t feel very sanitary with em, 3, it would take more than a month for the delivery…).

So this guy is a direct acid, pretty strong tho, I use twice a day, AM & PM, feel pretty good tho, but I have to use sunscreen more cause you know this acid would exfoliate and make your skin more sensitive to sunlight.


2.  The Ordinary AHA 30% + BHA 2% Peeling Solution:

AHA 30% + BHA 2% Peeling Solution - 30ml

My god I’m obsessed with all the Ordinary packaging, like I mean the whole Deciem things: packaging, description, how their website design… It’s hard to find Deciem product here in Vietnam, I have only see like 2 shops selling the Ordinary and only one selling the Fountain (I’m not into this cause this is like beauty water, kinda fancy thing). I can’t find Niod and Hylamide. Maybe I can try ordering some, but i hate waiting for delivery tbh. I’ve read comments online and people have really good cmt for the Niod line (a bit up price), I can’t wait to try.

Ok back it again with this baby. This is another kind of direct acid, but like a more powerful one. It’s pretty strong actually so they recommend not to use this more than twice per week and only at night time. I did and feel pretty good afterward. I mean I have use these two babies for almost a week now and I feel fine with them, I can see my skin improve day by day.

One more thing I love about this one is the colour and texture of it. Man, it’s super fucking close to blood :)) I feel fancy like using blood facial every time I use this one. About the smell, none of these two smells good tho, i have no expectation.

3. The Body Shop – Tea tree skin clearing & mattifying toner:

Good old days! I haven’t use this one for like a year, but after trying out with others I still have to go back for this one. This is like a pretty good deal actually, cause I get the 250ml for only 260k.

They changed the packaging, look cooler :)). um the funny thing about this toner is that there’s a layer of mattifying powder at the bottom so you should shake em up before applying. These’s really helpful for my overly oily skin. I use this one like all fucking time!

Say no more!!!

BTW I really want to try other products from this tea tree line of The Body shop like mask n cleanser kinda thing. hmm waiting for my salary :)))

4. Vichy – Normaderm Correcting Anti-Blemish Care

hmmm Vichy has such an amazing line for acne skin like the Tea Tree line from the Body shop. I have been using Vichy products for more than 3 years now and I’ve never had any problem with any of them. The only thing is that I feel this one may take like slow effect. You have to use them for a while and then slowly see things work out for your skin. I love the Normaderm line, smell so good, so purifying, fresh and gentle.

I have use half of the bottle, AM only after using the ordinary serum. I have mix feeling about purchasing this product again. It’s very gentle, moisturize the skin but sometimes I feel like it’s too gentle. hmm i’mma think about that. Still like it anyway!

5. Vichy – Normaderm Nuit Detox

Another product form Normaderm line, for using before I go to bed.

I don’t like the smell of it comparing with the previous one. I see my skin’s getting better day by day tho. Hope this one can detox my skin for a better result.


I don’t really use any cleanser at this moment. I’m still looking around to find one that suit me, the one I’ve tried before or a brand new one…

Hello Low-carb!

I’m so greatful to announce that I have been struggling with LCHF (Low carb high fat) diet for almost 2 weeks now. I myself didn’t believe that I could have ever done such a thing.

For 2 weeks, I ate 4 pack of Smiling Cow Cheese (8*4=24 pieces), 2 dozens of eggs, ways too much chicken breast and vege 😐 I didn’t know how tasty (in my head) that plain white rice or candy or muffin or plain bread can be 😦

But I got through anyway. And I think I’ve lost some, for real. I did feel a little tired, but not much and I’m getting used to it anyway.

In the end, after spending hours researching through internet, books, getting advise from my friend who had succeeded, and after try it myself, i think i would continue this almighty LCHF diet.

Well, from now on, I’ll try my best to record my meals throughout the day. it’s good, they said.

If you’re coping with LCHF, I wish you a great success.


I was watching the Enternal sunshine of a spotless mind, and I started to think about what I’ve been through.

I’ve been missing someone I should have clean out the memory of him years ago.

The last scene hurt me most.

I’m not strong, I’m very weak. The evidence is that I still had feeling, that I’ve always been thinking about how the “us” has ended, how wrong I was, how pity I was, how he would have done such things.

If I got pulled back. Just for once, then there’re no ways I would walk away. I wasn’t given even a single chance to come back. It would have been so difference. Why did he do that to me?

It’s like he was just sitting still and waiting for me to say the words so that he could walk away, telling others that i broke his heart.

I don’t know how he’d been recently. I tried to, but I can’t.

Well I hope he’s happy.

But I still wonder if he had any, just a little bit memory about mine?

I’m sorry that we didn’t do much things together. I’m sorry that my mom would have killed me if she knew I loved someone so that I had to stop “us”. I’m sorry that I was afraid for my future, that I could not focus on anything when with you because all I think of is you and me. I’m sorry for thinking you didn’t deserve such gabage like me so I said goodbye.

I don’t know others, but I’m not the one to forget easy.

Damn this is bullshit.

Wish you a lovely Valentine with your love.



A book that made you cry: The boy in the stripped pyjamas – John Boyne

#2017ReadingChallenge : A book that made you cry

Well, let say, I’ve never cry reading before so I may change it to something that made me feel “like” crying.

The boy in the stripped pyjamas.

I first known the movie, not the book. As a fail attempt to download the movie from the internet, only the first 20 mins of the movie were able to watch. I was going to see it after seeing Schindler’s List. And a few days passed, when I was wandering in the foreign book section of Tiki, I saw this book. Only that moment I knew there was avaiable book. I thought it hasn’t been translated to Vietnamese, but I’ve found out it has recently (I’ll catch up later).

Well, the cover is quite straight-to-the-point. However the discription in the back is quite interesting.

“Usually we give some clues about the book on the cover, but in this case, we think it is important that you start to read without knowing what it is about”.
So do as it said.

I have to say that the ending did shock me, like a lot. You can never expect such end to a story.

Have a try yourself.


I’ve got a messy day

So, I was supposed to be reviewing for my final at Electronic Devices, but I’m not.

Let’s talk abit about yesterday when I had exam in Electromagnetic field. I thought I was doomed then, but I got lucky. Well, lucky me. Hope it’ll be fine. But luck is not internal, we gotta make our own luck. 

Well, in the evening I went to the movie with some of my classmates. I have to say that caffeine really did a great job to make me feel good that day. Lots of things happened, mostly awful, but I got through. The movie “Sing” really boosted my emotion. One of the best made animations I’ve ever seen. Made my day for real, you guys should really watch that!

And here come today. I woke up pretty early this morning, cause my roommate said she wanted to go to the market real quick to grab some groceries and I needed too. I only got instant ramen now, so I really needed something healthy. My meals for a couple of weeks have bean crazy. But guess what, she got something going on. Well, I think maybe because of my pms that make my emotions ways to vulnerable. I felt so pissed off then, cause she was like wait a minute, we’ll go in 10 or some sort of that. Well, I was so fucking hungry. And I need to get ready before noon, I had a very important meeting then. So I’m done waiting. Had ramen, read some and sleep. Well I was overeating then, but psss please, you can’t stop the pms temper. YOU CAN’T! 

Well, I was so tired and was almost late for the meeting. I thought is gonna be important tho, but it wasn’t. Two other classmates arranged a meeting with our class manager to ask about the major sorting in the end of this year (actually they didn’t arranged 😒). Well, it’s kinda weird cause they don’t really activelly try their best to know about the major, at least they had no idea of how the classification works. We’ve got Google, we’ve got internet and we’ve got emails damn it. Instead of going to ask thhe teacher face to face all the simple questions, why not email all of these questions so that not to waste time for both sides. Lectures, I mean the teachers and professors in my university are super busy, you know. 😒

Okay, moving on. I gathered with my bitches this afternoon. Nothing much to say then. And in the evening, that’s the fucked up parts. Family problems alert! I know I don’t really get along well with my parents, i mean I’m not the kind of sweet little girl. But the thing is my parents are somewhat in trouble with their relationship ( I swear that is why I would never want to grow up and marry, cause adulthood is so fucking messy you know). And there were problems with my sister. Fuck it. I’m on the final exam, I’ve got a life ahead, my life is so fucking messy enough. And my mom complained again again and again about these situations. Fuck it, I am not a mother, I don’t have kids, and she wants advises from me? Oh please! I’m a horrible person. And my mind is messy enough. I was so upset. I cried. I wish there were someone to listen, at least to be there when i need a shoulder to cry on. Fuck pms. I watch “I am Sam” and I cried even harder. But it made me feel better anyway. The situations in my family now is so bad that I don’t even want to think about it. They fight, they hate each other, they almost splitted up, … fuck fuck them all. Everybody has their problem. I respect that. But being adults, parents they should have know that not to let their children envolve in that. If I have a chance in the future, i would promise I’d be a better parent. 

Sorry for being such a bitch. I got exams coming up. And I’m so fucked up too. 😒 This is horrible. 

Read a book with non human charactors: Black Beauty – Anna Sewell

(Vietnamese: Ngựa Ô yêu dấu)

So this one, I have to say, one of the loveliest classic novels of all time.

The story was told by Black Beauty, a beautiful strong black horse, in London mid 19th century. There were so many things happenned, each chapter had made up Black Beauty mind.

He’s been with god-given-kindness owners to horribles bosses, from well-trained horse keepers to careless dumbass jerks. He’s been loved, hurt, harmed, almost killed, but after all good things came to life. Find out yourself.

Well, as my point of view, this novel not only teaches us animal welfare, but also how to treat people and other creatures of mother nature with kindness, sympathy and respect.

Above all, I just simply love it. Feel so peaceful reading this. Recommended! 

P/s: I heard this novel had couple of film adaptation and cartoon also, I would definitely watch them

Master of procastination

Hell yeah =)))

After 2 months =))) yeah, exactly 2 month since my last post. My challenge was totally doomed. Good lord! Easy said than done right T_T

Well, I don’t really know how high my level of PROCASTINATION has been going on, but I bet it would touch the sky tho.

For 2 months, there has been lots of things new. I got parttime jobs. JOBS? yeap, 2 parttime jobs. I’m selling BEEF, Australian Black Anger beef and teaching assistance at a super duper famous English center in HaNoi, A****. One in the morning, and the other in the evening (I have classes in the afternoon). I really need to get my mind busy cause for the last two months, my study has successfully driven me insane. I don’t know if I was retarded or not but study seemed to be so overwhelming for me. I’d rather read all day than learning coding, for real.

-_- I’m so over it. And you know what, final exam is coming. What the shit?

Alright, as I written above, I just got the jobs. So this is how it goes. The first one, Selling beef, pretty much like butcher, but not really cause I only sell. I choose the 1st shift, 7:30 a.m to 12:30 p.m, not long but I had to stand most of the time. I got almost told off (in a very polite tone) by my boss at the first day, so the second day, instead of using phone, I switch to my travel book and she didn’t come to work. Oh gee! But I think I’m not gonna use my phone next time, cause I need to finish my books! I’m on a reading challenge for 2017 now :)))


So about the place, my work is selling beef which is directly imported from Australia. Chilled beef, not frozen beef, and the prices are OH MY FREAKING GOD :v. There’re so many types of cuts and it took me a while to remember the cuts, the properties and prices of each type. I love cooking and I really want to enlarge my knowledge so it’s fine, I guess.

The other parttime job is Teaching Assistance at a kid English center. Well, I tend to have a larger tattoo at my birthday, also dye my hair brighter, but I have to rethink about these cause I must not dye my hair and have visible tattoo when working there because that would distractt the children (I agree) and offense the parents (damn, discrimination in Viet Nam is high). So yelp, say goodbye to that! Well, the center I’m working for is a newly opened branch so there’s not much to do and I just have to observe and support for some side events until they actually have classes, maybe in the end of Jan or Feb. Till then, I may have to think about ending one of the two jobs cause I may be very very busy at the next semester. Now? YOLO

One more thing is that, I’m gonna have to decide my major to follow by the end of the next semester. Dr Loan, one of my lecturers had explain the branches for our class, But I have my steady choice, so pretty much no need that cause the only thing it does is causing coufusion. I think what I need now is really find and prepare for what I would learn and do as a Automation Control engineer (damn, sound mesmerizing).

I guess it’s end now. My Japanese is dead 😐 so bad.



Day 2: I’m doomed

It’s day 2, and I’ve done nothing. NOT A SINGLE thing. Anyway this Monday was suck.

I got physical education (soccer) at the very first  period of the morning, which means I gotta wake up at 6a.m damn it. Every things was fine until some jackass shoot the freaking soccer ball to my calf without an appology and it truely hurt as hell. Okay, I’m fine, I’m cool! I’m okay.

About 15 mins later, we had to exchange the ball by our freaking head, I don’t know the term but this is some kind like you hit the ball with ya all head. And that freaking process takes like 10 mins. oh my god, when I got home I gotta clean the room cause It was my turn. How tired.

I had breakfast, do some stuffs and then went to sleep for a while. Then the worst thing happened. My head banged. Jee, It was like it was trying to kill me. I got up anyway with the freaking migraine and go to mrs Loan’s class. We got devided into groups of 4 and as usual, I was so badluck that I was put in a group with 3 other students who were as bad as mine. duh! But it seemed like there was some trouble with the group arrangement hence I emailed mrs Loan that night. Case closed!

I was so stress out that night that when I called my mom, I bawled my eyes out. I told her that I need to stop studying Japanese. This is sad, but I’m pretty overloaded right now. I can still keep up with that beautiful language by myself cause I find it suck a waste of time to go and study in the language center without having anytime at home to study for myself. So I quit. I was so freaking sad.

So Duolingo and Memrise and C, please forgive me, I’ll come back to you today. I definitely will!

This was writen on Sep 13nd. It was my beloved aunt’s birthday today!

Challenge Day1:

Suck a bad day for me. It’s Sunday, yes, what a beautiful day if I didn’t spend so freaking much money on shopping this and that K.

The thing is I was supposed to go to Aeonmall with one of my roommates, my CLOSE roommate. But then she asked if someone else wanted to go. There’s one did want to go, so (I know that I’m being bitchy) from then on I knew that I’d better go there by myself rather than going with them both cause they would act like I was the air. Such a mean girl I am.

So I called my bff, she was with a junior in her university, but she said yes anyway so in my mind, I would let them two girls go together while I join my friend and the junior. But life isn’t always pinky like that.

We’re late for the bus, we were freaking late for the bus. For the one who didn’t know, Aeon Mall has 4 different free bus routes and one of them stops very near my dormitory. There’re only 5 bus a day, so the time must be very precise. And we’re late for just 2 or 3 minutes. Damn it. We’re doomed.

My roommates went back to the dorm while I join my friends to go to a book cafe near by. They were so tired and sleepy, me too, but I gotta watch their sleeps. We waited there for like 1.5 hours then had another attempt to catch the bus again at 3:30 p.m.

Man, Aeon Mall is one of the most beautiful modern shopping, I mean SUPER mall in Ha Noi. It’s Japanese, and you know Japanese. They’re smart, polite, and so damn friendly. The shops are arranged cleverly and they do know how to get money out of ya so damn thin wallet. So I was trapped then. I bought some stuffs. Man I wish I had money to buy all these things L

The most annoying part was when we had to leave. I got class at 7p.m today so I have to make home before 6:30 p.m. There’s a bus that depart at 5:15 p.m, but we missed again for shopping grocery. So the next bus went at 5:75 p.m, but as the brochure said route 3 (the most convenient route for me) only stops at 2 spots and none of them were mine L then I have to change the route. It took me 1 hour and 15 minutes to walk from that stop to take the regular bus and come back to my room. I had to cancel my class then (damn my money L) and what f** me up is that the bus 3 stopped at my place eventhought the brochure said it did NOT.

I swear to god I was so mad that I could kill anyone.

Anyway, my day seem kinda suck. I bought a very hot ramen and turned out It was too hot for me (I can’t stand spicy things). I think I’mma have some breakout soon. FML

For the challenge part, I did the selfie, the sketching and the writing thing. I’mma do the language learning after posting this.

For the C programming languages. I think I’ll start tomorrow cause I’m too freaking tired right now. I know I’m procrastinating once again. But c’mon, I can’t even.

To be easier to keeping on track all the things I’ve done. I’mma get a tracking apps. Hope it works!